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Growth Mindset Hack #1 – Make a Decision

Jennifer • Dec 02, 2019

Sounds simple right? If we want to change the way we think we just have to decide to do it and then do it right? Well, if it was that easy then we would all be living our best life right now. Trust me when I say, there are too many of you who are NOT living your best life and a lot of it has to do with the way you think. OUCH!

It is up to you to decide how you want to live your life. I’m going to get honest with you here – and some of you may get prickly – but know this is coming from a place of love. Your current life situation is based on the choices YOU have made thus far. Your situation is your doing. OUCH x2! None of us want to believe this, especially if we’ve been hurt or manipulated in some way, but it’s the truth. We can view our situation as the worst thing in the world to ever have happened to us OR we can choose to learn the lesson and move on. Simple – not easy.

In life, we are going to encounter people who are very comfortable in their misery. Ask yourself if you are one of them and be honest. If you are a misery lover or know a misery lover, then no matter how upbeat someone is, the misery lover will always find a way to bring the upbeat down. No matter what suggestions are made to improve a situation, the misery lover will find a way for the improvement not to work. Why do misery lovers do this? Misery lovers may enjoy their misery because it is all they have ever known. Why change what has been working (or not working) for them so far? At least they know the outcome right? Quick brain lesson – the more we do things the more solidified the habit becomes in our brain and the harder it is to break it. This goes for our thought processes as well.

You yourself may come from a very challenging background and it scares you that you may live out the same mistakes or think the way your parents/caregivers did. It may frighten you to hear yourself speak negatively and judge others (yourself included) harshly like someone from your past or even in your present. Changing your thought process is hard work. It truly is. Even when you make the decision to change – IT’S NOT ENOUGH. You have to plan and build your supports. But guess what – you can do this. You have an opportunity right now to make a decision of how you want your life to turn out. You can decide your level of enjoyment. Think about this: What do you want out of your life? How do you want to experience your life? Who do you want in your life? These questions are not as easy to answer as you may think. I encourage you to sit and really think about it. Be specific. Once you are able to answer these questions, make a decision to create a plan to achieve what it is that you want.

Next steps:

  1. Reflect on your life to this point. What choices and daily routines are serving you well? What choices and daily routines are not serving you well? Write them down.
  2. Join the Be Happy To the Core – Everyday – fb group – https://www.facebook.com/groups/CoreHappinessEveryday/
  3. What do you need to make your vision a reality? Don’t worry about the how right now. We will get there. Determine what you need. Write them down.

Developing a growth mindset is simple but it’s not easy. You are competing with habitual thoughts that are part of who you are. Changing these thought patterns will take a little bit of time. But if you’re serious, I’m talking REALLY serious, you will get there. I believe in you.

You got this!

Photo credit: Howard “Howie” Adams – www.instagram.com/london_lifeportraits

If you would like more information on how to work with Jen Slay or you want to learn more about how to be happy to your core book a 15min telephone Slay session.  Jen would love to talk to you. Go to www.calendly.com/jenslay and click on the “15min Slay Session” tab.  You got this!

Want to contact  Jen  on social media? You can find her here:

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/jenslayvision

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/jenslayvisionary

Instagram: www.instagram.com/coachjenslay

Email: info@jenslay.com

website: www.jenslay.com

Linkedin: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/jenslay

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeP-4bcglXNL2_FVoCr0PdQ

Jennifer Slay is an award winning speaker and best selling author. She is a motivational speaker,

registered social worker, therapist, workshop facilitator and online teacher. For more information or to book Jennifer to speak at your event, email at info@jenslay.com or call 1-877-786-7190.

www.jenslay.com

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How to overcome fear and increase your confidence
By Jennifer 26 Aug, 2022
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By Jennifer 24 Jul, 2022
I’m Jennifer Slay, along with my partners, Tanya Reynolds and Shirley Brooks, and we are the proud co-owners of Manifesting Excellence Coaching . I look forward to sharing our story. I hope that you will enjoy getting to know us better. I was tired of being taken for granted and made to feel dumb, so I decided one day that enough was enough. It was like a light bulb went off, and I intentionally stopped being a people pleaser and began to express myself more, which made a world of difference. I figured I couldn’t be the only one who felt that way, so I promised myself that I would help others become self-aware and make vital changes to live as happier human beings. It inspired me to create the program Slay Your Inner Critic. Coach Tanya and Coach Shirley had similar circumstances that led them to my program. It not only transformed their lives and thinking but also springboarded their coaching careers to where they both co-teach Slay Your Inner Critic. Through several iterations, we came together under the umbrella of Manifesting Excellence Coaching with the mission to carry forward my original goal of helping women choose the direction they want their lives to take. Our motto is ‘To live a life happier to your core; you must be authentic, use the power of your voice, and believe in yourself.’ Therefore we work with confidence, and I believe what sets us apart from others is our integrity, authenticity, humility, and teamwork. I also attribute our success to the coming together of our different talents to help serve in a way we could not do alone. It includes combining our sixty-plus years of experience in the corporate world, the social workspace, change management, and business development, which has helped us excel in life, career, and business coaching. As a result, it fills us with immense satisfaction to see how many lives we have changed for the better. We are proud of our clients for having the courage to invest time into themselves and their personal development. Therefore, it’s rewarding when these men and women allow us to be there with them on their journey and witness the aha moments that propel them to make a remarkable transformation of their minds and spirits. For example, we were once on the last session of the Slay Your Inner Critic program, and at the end, when it was time to say goodbye, NOBODY wanted to leave. The sense of community, togetherness, and support we created in that cohort group was palpable, as everyone wanted to be buddies and have us there to facilitate their relationships. When we’re not empowering clients, I like to hang out with my sons, read and engage in public speaking opportunities. Tanya enjoys dabbling in CrossFit and rugby and spends time with her daughter, while Shirley loves quarterback training, watching HGTV, and listening to neuroscience podcasts. I have enjoyed sharing our journey about the things that matter to us and how they influence how we do business.  If you or someone you know could benefit from our expertise as Canada’s online certified life, career, business coaches, and registered social workers, I invite you to get in touch. Please visit our website at www.manifestyourexcellence.com . Sincerely, Jen, Tanya, and Shirley
By Jennifer 10 Mar, 2022
March is considered the “lucky” month because of St. Patrick’s Day. Do you celebrate this day with your friends? I don’t. Not for any reason in particular, I just don’t – lol. BUT Let’s talk about this idea of “luck”. Google defines luck as “success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one’s own actions”. When I was a child my mother used to tell me I was a lucky kid because I won so much stuff. I remember winning a walk-man, or a free lunch, or winning a hole in one in mini-put golf etc… In those situations – yep, luck had a lot to do with it. BUT As a grown woman who has dedicated hours upon hours to studying, learning, and teaching my craft – luck had nothing to do with it. As a grown woman who has taken risks in business, failed many, many, many times and just kept trying – luck had nothing to do with it. And as a grown woman who has been told “You can’t because you’re a woman/Black woman/too young/too old etc…” and doing the thing anyways – luck had nothing to do with it. In fact, if someone tells me that I am a lucky woman because of the different successes that I’ve earned I tell them – luck had nothing to do with it. A decision. Sticking to that decision even when I didn’t want to or didn’t feel like it. THAT is why I experience success. Risking ridicule, being talked about, not fitting in – THAT is why I experience success. When I stopped allowing the opinions of everyone else matter more than my own – THAT is why I experience success. What about you? What decision do you need to make, be held accountable to and execute in order for you to experience the success you know you were born to experience? Everything you want will happen after you DECIDE. What’s your decision? If you would like to book some time to talk to me or my team about how to make whatever you have decided on a reality, please feel free to book yourself in for some time: https://calendly.com/jenslay/1-hour-counselling-coaching-sessions
By Jennifer 10 Feb, 2022
February is a very important month.  Why? Not because it is the month of love (Valentine’s day) or because it’s a short month (28 days) but because it is a month dedicated to the acknowledgement and celebration of Black History. February is Black History Month. Now, I am not silent about my views and I am proud to share information with friends, colleagues, clients and strangers BUT just the other day I was speaking to a couple people that I work with and I was telling them about Black History Month and their initial response saddened me. They said “Oh, I didn’t know February was Black History Month”. Now the reason this comment saddened me is not because they didn’t know. One thing I have become very aware of during this journey of life, is that often times if something does not directly affect you, then the likelihood of you knowing about or learning about it is slim. Not always – but often. The reason I was saddened is because given my passion for anti-racism and the upliftment of Black people – how can someone be in my circle and not know about Black History Month?!?! I felt that maybe I failed them in some way. So now, I’m on a mission. If you call yourself my friend/colleague/family then you’re going to know what I’m passionate about just like I am going to ensure I take an interest in what you are passionate about. Why? It’s important. It’s important in the development of strong, lasting relationships and it’s important in our fight for equity and justice. Conversations build bridges. Conversations allow for deeper understanding. Conversations can break stereotypes, enhance understanding and produce respect. So, my friend/colleague/family member – February , is Black History Month. It is a time to recognize and celebrate the contributions and successes of Black people today and in history. Please note – my history is not all about slavery. That is a part of it but that’s not all of it. I encourage you to take the time this month (and every month) to learn more about Black history (World history). It will allow you to reflect and look at your own biases and maybe even some stereotypes you have which have been perpetuated by media, history books, and racist attitudes. Not everyone can be an activist. Not everyone will have a platform to speak to thousands and not everyone feels comfortable speaking about these issues in a public forum. However, we all have the opportunity to learn and unlearn. We all have an opportunity to be an ally. We all have an opportunity to do better. What are you going to do to be a part of the solution? Please go to www.lbhcc.ca to find some virtual events happening here in London, Ontario that the world is welcomed to attend. Happy Black History Month!
By Jennifer 27 Jan, 2022
LeadHERalliance 10-10-10 Month 2 – Topic 2 Take Care of the C.O.R.E. – Jennifer Slay
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